High Voltage
by Lord of Forgetfulness
Summary: Do you find yourself on a ridiculous situation, like having knowledge of the future? Well, follow these steps: Deny any possibility of such, tell yourself you are most likely going crazy, insist that this is really not a fictional universe (until proof is practically thrown at your face), go almost senile because you are not really alive, and finally troll people. cliche/parody
1. Chapter 1

**I do not own Naruto nor it's characters, and neither do I make profit of writing this.**

 **A/N: Well this was an idea that came to me yesterday night while I was tyring to sleep - and I couldn't until 4 am. Thanks brain.**

* * *

It's difficult to pinpoint exactly where my previous life ended and my new one began. It's a bit of a mess of memories that make little to no sense, but what I'm sure, is that before this… unique circumstance I find myself in, I was a normal person, doing your everyday chores to keep myself alive, with my own hobbies and whatnot.

Now? Well, it's a little complicated.

Let's start with my earliest memory in this new life.

The rhythmic _clangs_ were soothing, keeping me in that line between barely conscious and not quite asleep, and I could feel where I was resting on was much, much colder than my own body.

I felt the infernal hotness I was in, though even with my foggy mind, I found surprising that I didn't feel the _pain_ associated with it.

When I fully found myself awake, the _clangs_ stopped altogether. I distantly heard a voice saying, ' _It is done_ ' and then found myself being drowned in cool water – yet, despite my instinctual _OHMAHGAWD I CANT BREATHE, HELP ME WHOEVER YOU ARE IM DROWNING_ , after a little while, I found that I wasn't breathing in the first place. I was aware that I was fully submerged, though the dizziness and that sensation of lungs being filled with liquid never came.

I was still a little confused, and my analytical processes hadn't fully started up, so I was left a good while only shouting half-coherent questions and profanities. Mostly profanities. You had to excuse me, my mind was shaky, I couldn't see, it seemed that I couldn't breathe, and there was the sensation of wrongness about all of it.

Whoever was close by, and there was someone because I could _feel_ them, most likely decided to ignore my yelling.

After an indefinite amount of time, I found myself being lifted from the water I was trapped in, being dried and then being oiled. I found myself desperately yelling ' _WHAT THE HELL YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING, PERVERT?'_ But, same as before, whoever it was chose to ignore it.

It took a good while, and after that I was clothed with something that was tight fitting but at the same time quite loose, and left there.

I couldn't move, I couldn't see, I couldn't hear (that took a while to notice). But at least I could feel and speak, right?

Wrong.

I don't know how much time passed, but I also came to the conclusion that I couldn't speak either. That, or that person actually wanted me to turn mad. Too bad that somehow I didn't.

It may have been because I was busy poking (figuratively) at _something_ inside of me that I was sure wasn't there before.

By the temperature variation, I estimate that it took me somewhere between three to four days to regain vision and hearing, but either way it was a pleasant surprise.

Or not so pleasant, because when I first opened my eyes, I found myself surrounded by weapons. Confused and a little flabbergasted, I looked around, towards where I knew was a person, but I could only see a wall. They may be on the other side of the wall?

I found myself basking on the ridiculousness of the situation, for a moment. Originally, I was sure I was on a hospital or something, that I had some sort of terrible accident that rendered me quadriplegic and blind, deaf and mute. But then I find myself on an armoury?

And then there was that sixth sense thing that seemed straight off fantasy – I wondered if I was hallucinating.

But it seemed not, because a moment later, a person came from a door and I felt them moving before I saw them.

There were two people in there, an old man with a ragged look and a pretty lady clothed in a rather flashy kimono. So then I could at least deduce why I couldn't understand a thing they were talking about, it was most likely Japanese. While I had some knowledge of the language, it was nothing impressive and I could understand some words here and there, but the general context of their conversation eluded me completely.

When the old man came closer to me, just then I noticed there was a little problem with proportions. In the lines of _Oh, would you look at that, he is a freaking GIANT._

He then proceeded to lift me with a single hand (that was the size of half my body) and turned towards the lady.

I really wanted to protest, and at least in my head I was, but they seemed to ignore the awkwardness of me being half squished by a giant hand.

Then I was unceremoniously undressed and laid bare. I can say confidently just how many seconds passed until someone started talking again. Fifty two seconds. And that is because I screamed a profanity per second, damning them, their ancestors, their current families and their cats.

But then, something grabbed my attention. It was the _clothing_ I was previously wearing… that was not clothing at all. It was a scabbard.

 _Oh what the fuck._

* * *

From what I could gather afterwards, I was a blade made by the order of the lady as a wedding gift of sorts to her to-be-husband, in a strange traditional fashion. Neither she nor her family were particularly wealthy, though they certainly wanted to appear as they were, because it also seemed that I was made of some super-rare, durable and understandably pricy metal. So they could only afford to order a tanto made of it.

And that's me. A ceremonial knife. I certainly had mixed feelings about it.

The lady's name was Sukuizu, and the husband was Beikoku. It also seemed that Mr. Beikoku here was the heir to some minor vassal samurai clan of the Daimyo of a place called Tanokuni (It really took me a while to piece all this together, like the whole month before the wedding). The name of said clan was Hatake, name that was eerily familiar, though I chalked it up to the fact that I only knew like five Japanese samurai clan names and all were from the Sengoku Period. I certainly doubted… ah what was his name? _That_ author, to be really original. Yes, that must be it. Even if the silver hair was strange, it had to be based off something, right? For what I know, it could be in the middle of the 900s and I wouldn't be any the wiser.

Well, back to topic, the ceremony was so formal and stiff it was boring, and it took an eternity for the bride to theatrically present me as the gift to the groom. He didn't seem awfully impressed with me, though he didn't seem impressed with anything to be honest, but continued with what appeared to be some traditional rite. By then I was so bored that I chose to ignore everything and started to poke at that thing inside me again.

What was unexpected was that my blade started to shine a blindingly white light while I was still in the hands of Beikoku – and it was, apparently, saw as a sign of good luck.

Hey, look. I'm also a flashlight. Certainly, I must be the advancement of the century in a place like Japan before the Europeans started the whole 'Mah moneiz' thing.

I still couldn't talk, though I wasn't sure if it was because I really couldn't or because I wasn't doing it like I should – you know, I was trying to modulate with a mouth I really didn't have.

I made it my life's goal to be able to talk after that night, because the newlywed couple thought (or better yet, didn't even think of it) that it was fine me being in their chambers. They may not be embarrassed or bothered by a sentient sword being a spectator but _I certainly was_.

* * *

Being able to talk and communicate with humans took me a few generations more than what I expected, as not only I had to learn how to express myself outwardly, but also learn a bit more Japanese as to be understood. Luckily, I was many times in the same room as a toddler being taught how to speak – the times I was not in the hip of the Hatake clan's head or heir in the middle of battle. So, experimenting a little with that thing inside me (that other humans seemed to also have, I could tell by my sixth sense) I tried to communicate with my wielders.

What happened most of the times is that there was a strange connection that was blurry at best and that lasted for about a minute before it was cut and left the wielder confused. I was at least able to send them a vague idea or image through that connection and they seemed to get, somewhat.

After that, I was handled with reverence, and some in the clan started spouting some nonsense about how the family heirloom (me) stores the spirits of previous clan heads and whatever. I wasn't going to correct them (not that I could, either) because I had to draw fun from somewhere.

Also, from that point onwards, I became less of a decoration in battle and replaced the katana normally used in the battle.

The samurai tended to infuse to their weapons some kind of energy – the same one I was poking since my… creation? – call it what you want, the power of the soul, biotics, chi, ki, chakra, whatever; and it made my blade glow incandescent white. Also, there was this _whoosh_ sound when swing, and if not for the poor length of the blade I could have called myself a lightsaber. So, what am I, a lightkitchenknife?

Well, since I was in an Eastern context, may as well call it something Eastern. So chakra it is, because the other two sound so lame.

Right, so, when infused with chakra, it was noted that I could cut basically anything. Yay! I'm an overpowered kitchen knife!

It came as no small amount of pride that I became the reason why the clan was started to be feared. Each wielder was named after my magnificence, like White Thunder, White Death or the like. Most had 'White' on it, and while it wasn't something like White Toothpick, I was not going to complain.

I also could feel the minor differences between one user and the other. There was something that made each individual different, in a way. Most of the clan had this electric feel – some more ash-y and very few felt like a calm autumn wind. My own, in comparison, felt like an overcharged lightning ready to blow in someone's face.

I very pointedly ignored any and all signals, and just thought 'oh well, just coincidence' and never thought about it again.

In an interesting turn of events, the Hatake clan was ordered to change modus operandi by their overlord clan, the Satake, and to become a ninja clan.

More or less at that time I became able to communicate with a wielder – though I had to be very familiar with their chakra to do so. Also, with the whole we became ninjas thing, I found out that yes, the whole magical energy bullshit was called chakra, and it was used by ninjas more than by samurai.

So, with my few generations of controlling chakra experience (not that I was aware of it at the time), and the advanced chakra training many of the clan had to experience, it became easier for me to talk with them. Though it brought the issue of _what the heck am I, what I'm supposed to say_? But after so long, I just decided to have fun, seeing as my existence is out of the bounds of normal mortal flesh. Probably I'll die if the blade is broken or if I'm melted, but at this point I lived longer than an Archdragon. I'm not that concerned with death.

So, I started bullshitting, citing every and any fantasy I could think of to make my existence more grand, just because I could. So, by grabbing some concepts here and there, I answered the question of the Clan Head that was the first to hear my voice. (Note: I use 'Warawa' to say I, and end of sentences use 'nanoda')

 _"I am a part of you, young one. Also, I was a part of your father, and your father before him, and his mother before him."_ I said dramatically. I tried to project a multi-layered voice, and give the impression of the _Avatar_ _"I am, in consequence, the very materialization of your lineage's power, which none has been able to completely harness, from the very beginning."_

 _"So, what's your name, then, o honoured blade?"_ He asked me.

 _"I fear, young one, 'tis not time for you to hear my name. Thou should be able to feel it when the time is right."_ Which of course it was bullshit, it wasn't as I forgot my own name at that point, or that I couldn't even remember if I was male or female in the past. Either way, a non-japanese name would be really strange I figured, so it wasn't as I could have used my original name.

After a few years of training, and a truly grand and flashy show of powers to "be able to hear my name and wield my whole potential" Did I decide to use one of the first Japanese sword-names I could think of.

 _"But remember, young one, that the name I'm about to disclose is not definite, but a reference to the amalgamation of mine power, your ancestor's and yours. So while in your power I may be named Engetsu, in your successor mine name shall change."_

Again, total bullshit, but being caged to a single name for who knows how many generations until the clan is eventually either wiped out or disbanded after the European's cometh, was going to be tedious. So, each time I pass to the next successor, I change names.

So far, I've already used Zangetsu, for one with strange water-affinity Suigetsu, for a heiress I used Shirayuki, for the one who had this strange mutation and had black hair instead of the standard silver I used Mugetsu, then I started spicing it up with names referencing other series because I was starting to get bored. Also, there were interesting developments where I refused to talk with some heirs who were particular assholes. What was interesting was that it somehow resulted in them not being heirs anymore, and then their next sibling would take the position.

Eh, it's the same for me, and as long as I don't have to deal with an idiot for a lifetime, all the better.

There was this other incident on which the overlord clan, the Satake, betrayed the Hatake, killing half of the clan before the Satake were betrayed themselves by their allies, then wiped out.

Which led to the Hatake Clan remnants to leave as fast as a lightning, and ended up in an interesting place that I didn't think I was going to visit – which in hindsight, I was kind of dumb for ignoring that the fact that the current heir to the Clan was named Sakumo. Not that you could blame me, a really long time has passed! Really! It's not as if I thought again 'oh it's just a coincidence'!

The place, the famed Village Hidden in the Leaves, the first ninja village. Well, it was certainly becoming more and more interesting – now I was to experience two consecutive World Wars and the possible end of the world in the hands of a psychopathic power hungry 'God'. More like, several psychopathic power hungry 'Gods'.

Well, it's not as if I'm going to be bored anytime soon.

* * *

 **Edit, the same day, a few hours of sleep later. Again, thanks brain. Re-added separating lines that mysteriously disappeared, corrected a few things here and there.**

 **Notice: I am not a native speaker, nor do I have a beta. If you find errors, do point them out - politely if you will.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto nor its characters. I also do not make profit from this.**

 **English is not my first language, if you see any errors please do tell me.**

 **Unbetaed**

 **A/N: Because life isn't either fun and games nor bleak and shit, but a grotesque mix of both.**

 **Enjoy, I guess?**

* * *

It had become something of a norm within the clan that I, as the heirloom, became the standard equipment of the heir the moment they became 'capable', which definition was shaky at best. Young Hatake Sakumo, current heir of the clan, was just six years old but deemed mature and strong enough to be entrusted to wield me.

Not that I was just given to him just like that; he had to pass an evaluation of sorts to be able to hear my voice (which at this point, I could already do with just about any ninja) just like his predecessors.

Also, ninjas do not do history for things beyond my comprehension, so I and I alone became the registry of everything that had happened in the clan since I became part of it. So, to the surprise of no one, I was the only one to remember that previously I was treated like a decoration, some thirteen generations ago or more.

The fact that I have an unlimited lifespan does not mean I remember everything perfectly, nor I am without shortages. Sure, the lack of a physical brain makes it impossible to memories be degraded, but after so many years, some details tend to get entangled.

Back to topic though, Sakumo doing techniques left and right, impressive feats of acrobatics, and the like… well, it seems like he really wanted to impress me, because he is already going ten minutes longer than the previous record-dealer. Bravo, or I must say, achievement unlocked? Either way, he didn't seem to want to stop anytime soon – and it was becoming a little painful to watch. Or was it disturbing? Should I mention again that he was six years old?

I had quite enough after an hour, and did something that I hadn't done until then, that is, project my voice outwards. Normally, I would speak with the wielder through a mental connection that I can control (and to be in character, I cut off when I am passed to a successor). Normally, I would have used my current wielder to express approval or disapproval – but the Clan Head was lethally wounded in the little skirmishes with some wandering clans after the exodus, so that left the Heir, Sakumo, in an unstable position. He could have refused his rights and then the situation would have been resolved by the adults with their political bullshit.

But no, the kid had enough intelligence (more than some of his uncles, which was in itself terrifying) and was more skilled than some high ranked shinobi, and had something of an ego to match.

" _…Enough."_ I stated, and then the room became so silent you could have heard a needle drop from the other side of the room. Sakumo was the one who was took less by surprise, it seemed – compared with the utterly stupefied faces some of the eldest members of the clan sported, his mildly surprised one was almost unnoticeable.

He did as told, and stopped his acrobatics. He may have taken the command too much seriously, because he was left in an awkward position head-down, with only a hand as a support while the other was making a half seal and his feet were still holding some shuriken that he by some dark means was able to throw. With his feet. _Feet._

It seemed that nobody understood what was happening exactly, so I took it upon myself to make the situation more civil.

 _"Gentlemen, please, no need for the jaws in the ground. And young one, step forward_ (cue dramatic stop) _and hold my grip._

The older members of the clan finally regained composure, and Sakumo did as told.

The moment he took a hold of me, I could feel his affinity. Lightning, and the strongest one yet. I mentally smirked, and presented him the name he would call me by.

 _"…So while in your power I may be named Rangetsu,…"_ Yeah I didn't bother to change much of the original script, so may as well just cut to the important part.

And as customary, Sakumo proceeded to channel chakra into me while incanting the name. Which of course lead to overcharging and then half of the building had to be repaired from a rather huge hole and a bunch of scorched marks. And some of the closer clansmen had to cut their hair because of the burns, and there was one of them that lost their brows.

Sakumo, meanwhile, suffered absolutely no injuries, which I call bullshit. Seems that either a)he is immune to lightning, that is quite impossible because _water that is part of typical organic structure_ ; or b) I somehow grant the wielder complete immunity to lightning, that if true, holy freaking shit, I'm seriously overpowered?

Is it too late to change my name to Deadly Knife of Doom? Better yet, Doomslayer! Yes, that sounds badass. I guess Stormruler isn't that bad of a name, either.

Ah, I could wait until Kakashi for that. And now that we are on that topic, I may be able to help the brat with the biggest problem he had all thorough his life.

Yes, I would make sure he doesn't end up being called Kakashi in the first place. Brilliant, I know. But seriously, the poor bastard didn't deserve that name. How do you think he would have felt, being named after a scarecrow? Even worse, his name doesn't even have kanji!

Seriously though, you can't have half the plot if there isn't a Kakashi in the first place to screw things up.

But that's still long ways in the future. Back to the present, and there are some interesting developments.

For example, it was the first time after quite a while I took a –getsu name (enough for the last one to be considered a legend now) and somehow those names ended up equalling that the wielder is stronger than the norm. Which is kind of fitting, seeing from just _where_ I ripped it off from. Hopefully no one in the clan would ever come across a strawberry to call their sons after it. Yes called after it, I don't care what you use as excuse! Ehem.

Where was I? Oh, right, the –getsu name. It automatically gave Sakumo all the respect his three immediate predecessors gathered through their lives summed up. Which was, admittedly, ridiculous.

So, as a Clan Head, and just recently the Hatake had joined Konoha, there was obviously paperwork to do. Which required the Clan Head's presence – plus the Hokage, obviously. And in some instances, a meeting between different Clan Heads had to be put up, for shits and giggles I guess.

It was quite entertaining seeing a meeting with a barely out of puberty Hokage meeting with a barely out of toddlerhood Clan Head discussing things seriously. It seemed as they were playing work instead of actually working work.

The clan had to adapt to certain rules and regulations within the village (and being in constant surveillance by the police force for a year). They were exempt of taxes and things like that until the situation was normalized, which Sakumo graciously thanked the Hokage for.

After the meetings the clan members would not really be surprised at how well Sakumo was handling all the political bullshit, stating something in the lines of "As expected of someone being aided by our ancestors" Excuse me, I didn't even try to help him in this, and I'm just as lost as you in this.

Some of the regulations were in the lines of 'We have no idea of the abilities of your clansmen, so we would like to test them to rank them'. It also seemed that the concept of Genin, Chunin and Jonin was completely alien for the Hatakes, but they accommodated quickly enough.

Sakumo was, actually, made the same offer as other senior shinobi, but he refused and instead went and inscribed himself at the academy for the next graduation exam. I had no clue who he wanted to prove himself to, he was already incomprehensibly strong alone and with me he was a Deus Ex Machina, basically. And all his clansmen already understood that, it wasn't as if there was that cliché nasty cousin who somehow belittled him even while being extremely overpowered.

Hmm. It may be the other clans he wanted to prove. After so long within a single clan, thinking about people from others that weren't about to become mincemeat was a difficult prospect to become accustomed to.

Eh, I'll get it someday.

* * *

Things were starting to quiet down, after the whole affairs with his clan being massacred by their supposed masters, the fleeing from the Land of the Rice Paddies, the death of his father and the settling down on a ninja village, it was something of a relief, really.

Hatake Sakumo, current Head of the Clan, released a quiet sigh.

He was seated on the roof of the newly constructed Hatake compound, staring at the night sky while having the White Chakra Sabre reverently resting on his lap. There is a time old tradition on his clan that the leaders are chosen by the blade – and given a special name by it. It is considered the wielder's _bladename_ as much as the seemingly inconspicuous Tanto's, and is used to refer times with those names.

For example, the times of the first –getsu, Engetsu, or the cursed times of Muramasa, or the times of Sakumo's own father, Wado Ichimonji.

The getsu, long since thought to be something of an exaggeration, since the last one to be remembered was in the times of Mugetsu, the Bastard, and while he didn't have a pretty nickname, his strength was legendary. To the point of overpowering the White Chakra Sabre and tainting its blade black with his special chakra. Which didn't mean much to Sakumo until he took hold of the blade himself.

The blade was overpowering, and in the folklore of his clan, it is where the clansmen deceased in battle rest. Now, Sakumo thought it might be possible.

So it came as a surprise for everyone that his own bladename was Rangetsu. And the little demonstration afterwards seemed to prove the amount of power that name carried. The Spirit of the Sword didn't talk to him much afterwards, but answered all his questions.

He also didn't question why it kept quiet most of the time during negotiations within the village. It must be, Sakumo thought, that the Clan wasn't in any foreseeable trouble in the moment.

Back in the moment, Sakumo was meditating while contemplating the night sky of his new home.

Unexpectedly, it was the blade to start conversation. It had that strange multi-layered voice that he found somewhat both soothing and disturbing. He thought it was the amalgamation of the voices of his predecessors.

 _"What are you contemplating about, young Sakumo?"_

"It's… it's that I have to be strong. I have to. But now … I, I don't know if I am truly capable."

 _"And why, may I ask, do you have to be strong? And better yet, how would you use that strength when you finally gain it?"_

"It's to protect my family, the clan…" He idly noted the spirit said _when_ and not _if_ "to protect them. I don't want to see any more children dying on the field – or mourning their parents when left behind. Or seeing people I am close with lose their special ones, you know, it sometimes drives them insane."

 _"'Tis an incredibly foolish and gullible dream."_ It said rather harshly, but continued _"And what about your newest allies? You know – by agreeing with being part of the village, you agree to be part of the village. They are as much as willing to die for you as for their own. Would you be willing do the same?"_

The young Clan Head thought about it briefly, before closing his eyes while nodding.

"Yes, I am willing to accept them as… a part of the pack." Trust a Hatake to make everything rotate around dogs.

From the sound of the voice, it seemed Rangetsu was amused, in an approving kind of way.

 _"Very well then. I just may have the means to make your dreams come real – though, misunderstand me not, I won't give to you freely. You are to work hard for it, and sacrifices would have to be made in the way. Are you willing to accept, even for a small chance to reach your dream?"_

There was no hesitation this time

"Yes."

* * *

A few days later, I was carried by Sakumo because it is customary for the heirloom to be carried practically everywhere.

After so many lifetimes of highly skilled battles and the like, I wasn't looking forward to a bunch of children that, according to what I can remember from all that time ago, wouldn't even come close to the knees on skill to my _least_ skilled wielders ever.

It came as a surprise however meeting the chibi version of the alcoholic, pervert and paedophile trio, and that the general level wasn't _all_ that low. It was certainly pathetic, don't get me wrong, but at least it wasn't as what we see in Naruto's generation level of pathetic.

And if there is someone calling me, telling me "isn't that a good thing? Doesn't it mean that children don't fight wars anymore?" Let me tell you this: I am a freaking weapon, and from what can be now times immemorial. I'm sorry if my mindset became somewhat _martial_. It's in the job description!

Ehem, back to the moment.

So, there was Sakumo owning everything in the exam like the cheat character he is, until came the sparring part of the exam.

Sakumo was partnered with a pretty boy with white skin, black hair and eyes, and arrogant expression. His very presence screamed UuUuUuUcChHiIiIiHhHaAaA. Cue phantasmal voice.

I certainly didn't think that the brat would have the magic ninja eye of bullshit, but it was always better to be safe than sorry.

 _"You have to be careful with this one. Never look at him in the eyes – focus on the midsection or feet. If you feel confident, close your eyes and use only your sensory abilities. Your opponent is an Uchiha."_ Never to be mentioned just how I knew this, but it could be accredited to 'one of your ancestors fought an Uchiha before' and be done with it. Which wasn't but it isn't as anyone could prove me right or wrong, seeing as just how much ninjas love history. Fools.

Young Hatake heeded my orders, what seemed to throw Arrogant Scowly McScowl off for a moment. Geez, someone has to take that massive stick from the Uchihas' collective asses.

In the end, McScowl did have the sharingan, but still wasn't fast enough to keep up with Sakumo. What seemed to piss off the Uchiha even more was that the Hatake didn't even use his (very obvious) weapon (me) that was attached on his back. Other than that, the encounter was fairly uneventful.

When we came across the future Sannin (most inspired title ever) I made a dramatic statement inside Sakumo's head in the lines of _"Take heed of these three, which will grow to be as strong if not stronger than you. But in each of them, I can see that even a single occurrence could drive them towards a dark side of themselves."_ In contrary of Sakumo himself, because I didn't know what would come of him _if,_ because my knowledge of him from before starts and ends with his death.

Eh, what happens, happens.


	3. Chapter 3

**I do not own Naruto nor its characters. I do not profit from it.**

 **I really just gain a few laughs off it, that's it.**

 **Note: English is not my first language.**

 **A/N: tact: I know, but the thing is I write these for fun mostly. Other more serious stuff I have more time dedicated to them, but these are just write when I have inspiration**

 **Enjoy, I guess?**

I found out that I was essentially an external handseal, additionally. No, really, while practicing with my new wielder, I came to the conclusion that I could mould the chakra Sakumo infused me with, and use it on a ninjutsu.

The easier techniques to do with this method were mostly stupidly overpowered lightning-based ones, but hey, something is something.

You may ask, why didn't I notice earlier, and my answer would be, it never occurred me such an insane thing before. Really, it was an inquiry from Sakumo's part (seriously, the ingenuity of the brat was sometimes terrifying) and after an ambiguous answer from my part and a few tries later, that were basically cheering him saying things like ' _You are close to discovering the way'_ while I had no idea what was happening, we came into the conclusion that yes, I could be used like a catalyst for ninjutsu, and possibly genjutsu. I made clear though that even if I could; I still liked more to slice and especially to _stab_ enemies. In a more redundant way with a bunch of pretty words and more grand, but the point was simple.

I am a sword, goddamit. Even if I could be used as a magic staff, I refused to be degraded to such.

Another interesting revelation was that I had my own chakra core, much like a living being, but as it couldn't be grown like a normal one, I had to take chakra from somewhere else first.

And my chakra core was full of a few hundred years worth of different users, because it seemed that the Lion's Song (a simple iaijutsu move, really, only that it was hypercharged with chakra with the intention to cut anything – and also made my edge glow white) wasn't very efficient with chakra, and made more than 50% or more of that energy to be stored instead.

So I wouldn't be surprised at this point if I were to be classified as a tenth or eleventh Tailed Beast by the stupidly large reserve of chakra I sported. That I could use anytime to essentially bring forth the Armageddon to the immediate area, probably even further. Hmm, I wonder what would happen if I were to try that glowing ball of chakra.

Oh, that gave me a magnificent idea! What would happen if I start tampering with nature energy? Hmm, so much things to do, so little- wait I'm literally immortal. Yay! Take that, snake face! I can do whatever insane thing I think of! Granted, I also can't move by my own means, but at least I'm immortal. As long as snakey didn't discover a way to make himself some stone scales, I'm with the advantage. Actually, even if, I still control lightning, so it would be redundant.

Right, so, after discovering that the charging with chakra wasn't efficient, (which Sakumo seemed to think was a test by me or something) and requested me to use the whole amount of it into a swing, what followed was that there was a new trench two meters deep running across Training Ground 10. Which in a few hours would be the place where Sakumo would meet his Genin team, at dawn. Did I mention that the brat was an early bird?

He started hyperventilating slightly, which in ninja standards was basically losing his shit. My ever insightful and wise advise was essentially walk out of the place and come back when someone else was here and act surprised.

It may sound dumb, but it worked wonders.

* * *

Even a blind man could see that the Village was trying to recuperate as quickly as they could from the aftermath of the First Shinobi World War, or as for now called, The Great War.

Details are blurry at best, but at this point I'm not surprised with ninjas and their allergy to properly record events. Even if the freaking war was less than a decade ago, the details of which were the general factions, by which motives or even how long the damn conflict lasted, it was always surrounded by a shroud of mysterious bullshit that was starting to get tiring after the first fifty years.

Ah, the point is, even if Sakumo here and the chibi Sannin graduated at six, I thought it was because they were freaks of nature more than anything else (yes I wasn't paying much attention during the exam, not that I could be blamed, it was freaking boring! It was worse than a traditional wedding!) but it seemed that just about everyone and their cats graduated at six years old on this cohort – even if they were extremely unprepared.

This generation's Team Ten was composed of Sakumo, two nobodies that probably won't survive (like the majority of the current population) the coming Second Shinobi World War, and their Sensei, a young Uchiha Kagami. That was unexpected, but in the end changed things little. Not that I knew much of this era either way – like I said, what I knew from before about my current wielder started and ended with his death. And that apparently he had been extremely powerful.

About Kagami what I knew was that he was in that escorting team for the Second Hokage, and that he was a distant relative to Overpowered Hypno-eyes. May be father or grandfather, or something. I can't remember the name – I think it was Sushi? But it sounds so dumb. Ah, that's irrelevant for now.

Kagami was visibly surprised at the fresh trench on the ground, but didn't make any comment to change training grounds.

What followed was mostly teamwork training – that was honestly one of the few things Sakumo didn't have much training in. I turned most of the developments off – it was boring – in favour of concentrating on my natural sensory ability.

I could sense all chakra signatures within I have no clue radius, but it was pretty big. Reducing said radius until I sensed Sakumo and his team (and a few extra early birds on nearby training grounds) I tried to look for that mystical natural energy, but much to my annoyance I only saw dirt and trees. No strange primordial energy bullshit anywhere on sight.

Eh, I guess there was a very rigorous training that very few could complete for a reason.

The team training ended a few hours after noon, and Sakumo was positively drained after it and the training he did before so he went back to the Hatake compound and basically fell boneless on his bed.

* * *

Nothing of much interest passed for a few months. There were the training sessions, clan gatherings, Clan Head gatherings and the like, but it all became very monotonous after a while.

And there was that little Uchiha brat that I think was the one young Hatake sparred against during the exam, who seemed to have a personal vendetta. Also, I found out that he was the Uchiha Clan's heir. Not that it was relevant, though.

Also, somehow Sakumo made fast friends with Jiraiya, the moment I was not paying attention. Chibi-pervert wasn't a pervert at all, at least not publicly. Still, it was a shame it was a few decades before the publicizing of the first book of that series he wrote, I was always curious how they were.

I may as well read them when Kakashi (or what his name would be) gets his hands on them. Preferably when in public.

Ah, and I almost forgot there was that celebration of sorts within the clan for having joined the village, in which I was passed around in an almost religious fashion, until I was left for the rest of the celebration resting on a comfortable cushion (yes, I could say it was confortable. Even if I'm made of metal, I could somewhat feel and it was better than the table or one of those thingies where samurai store their swords.) on the little shrine they had built within the month or so since they became part of the village. As a footnote, it also seems that I'm some kind of Valhalla for them now? What do these people drink? I doubt the sake they consume would be that strong.

* * *

To my absolute despair Sakumo took the habit of not going anywhere without me strapped on this back, even when going visit friends. Like now, that there was a gathering and he was invited.

Never to mention that I can't stand a group of lousy children. They may be certified killers, infiltrators and saboteurs, but in my eyes they are just a bunch of brats. Annoying brats.

 _"State that if they continue their unsightly ways I will stab them."_ I snap through the mental connection with Sakumo. Hm, I wasn't even thinking and the vocabulary was at least in character. Seems that by this point I already internalized the over the top way to say things.

Now, if only I had a body (that wasn't a sword) I could become the Demon King!

Sakumo looked really uncomfortable after my statement and chose to instead excuse himself and go back home instead of doing what I told him. Which was better, I guess, than being labelled as a potential slasher, especially since he is the Clan head. I don't think you could say something in the likes of "If you don't shut up my sword will stab you" without being misunderstood as you committing the act.

I used this opportunity to more or less say that I was to be moved around when it was obvious I was going to be used as intended (to cut up enemies) – and not for 'trivial things'.

He retorted that he couldn't possibly know when an attack would happen, to which I bullshitted my way out saying something like ' _If such a thing were to happen, is a test in on itself for you to reach me with your own strength'_ And continued spouting things on those lines that he shouldn't solely rely on me for battle.

As much as I liked to stab myself into people, he would probably have to pass me to his successor… that if he doesn't die first. Well, the point is, he had to be crafty and not rely too much on a single thing. My speech came way more profound and grander than what I intended it for, and he seemed to be deeply moved as if he was talking with a source of endless knowledge.

I just really can't stand kids.

* * *

Being proper all the time was boring and constricting. And after a slipup I had to come up with an excuse of why I had broken character during battle.

Let's rewind a little.

* * *

"Alright team, so this is the first mission you guys will be doing outside the Village and the destination is quite far. I hope you'll be prepared, we meet in forty at the gates." Said Kagami to his students after tossing the mission details to the closest student he had – Sakumo, in this case – and proceeded to leaf-disappear.

The mission was to act as messenger to an outpost that was quite far, though not the farthest and it wasn't close to possible hostile territory. I don't have to mention that the Great War caused bitterness to grow between people hailing from different lands. And to top it off, it ended with an armistice, not a proper peace deal, so it isn't abnormal to come across a genin team or even chunin who were gutted when passing close to territories of 'former' enemies.

So there were locations heavily restricted for rank, like if it were a game. This is the safe zone, that is middle-tier ground, and that one at the distance is hardcore prepare to die edition. Only that in the world of ninja every place was hardcore, only some were guaranteed death and others were just a little less punishing.

This outpost would be in the middle-tier zone, according to that category. Or if you like it better, halfway into Mordor. Any and all encounters would be potentially lethal, but they were rather scarce compared to in the heart of enemy territory.

Estimated duration of the mission, two to three days. Climate conditions optimal, neither during winter nor during raining season. I instinctually sensed it was all going to go to shit before we were in the outpost.

I was correct.

* * *

We were not three kilometres out of the village when we were intercepted by what all means looked like a ragtag group of hooligans.

One of the bandits stood in the middle of the road, a smirk on his face while he extended a hand with his palm upwards, like in a gesture of 'pay up'

"Hold!" He shouted, and we did. I was extremely amused; didn't they understand the unrealistic level of power of ninjas? Or were they so drunk they couldn't recognize certain death when it looked directly at their eyes? He continued with a clichéd "Stand and deliver."

Seeing as nobody of the group made a move to their purses, the bandit leader took an annoyed face while some of the hooligans were making fun of him for not being able to intimidate a group of children (plus a young adult. And I suppose a sword, but they likely didn't know that) and then half-shouted "brats! There is a price for anything, even your life!"

That statement didn't make him any more threatening. But at the rate he was going I was looking forward to when he started the whole 'drink from skull' thing. Too bad I wasn't a human anymore. I couldn't eat popcorn. Not that it existed in this world, either.

After a second of awkward nothing happening, a fun idea entered my mind. Now that I could express myself outwardly, I was going to find fun ways to use it. After so many months of tedious routine, and the fact that Sakumo was so young it wasn't really fun to tease because more than half the things I said passed right over his head, I was getting restless.

So, adjusting my voice as to make it indistinguishable from Sakumo's, and taking advantage of the fact that he was using the Hatake Facemasktm and that from my position on his back it would be easy to make it look like he was talking, I proceeded to lazily state:

"Away with you, vile beggar."

The looks of surprise of he and his team, and the dumbfounded and completely bewildered faces of the bandits were just exquisite. Then the bandit leader took the red face of fury to a whole new level, and made to charge the genin team, shortly followed by his minions.

The battle was a joke, but at least I was able to discharge some of my frustrations piling up by the very monotonous everyday life. With witty comments and all.

 _"Stab him, stab him again!"_ I had decided to again only talk to Sakumo through the mental connection, because I don't think his teammates would take well the whole concept of a sentient blade just yet. So, slash, stab. _"Oh, that looks like it would leave a mark!"_ Charge a little too much raiton to the blade. _"Hmmm, you smell like bacon!"_

I certainly had taken Young Hatake by surprise with the comments, but it wasn't something that hadn't already happened with some of his predecessors, and I was quick to come up with an excuse for when he eventually asked me about that development.

In the meanwhile, one of his teammates, the girl, looked at him in slight worry. She didn't kill any of her opponents, merely knocked them out – just like their other teammate. It was only Sakumo that actually killed without a second thought.

"Sakumo-kun, are you alright?" Why did she have that wavering slightly concerned tone?

Sakumo, on his part, looked a bit out of it, but after a while answered her "It's nothing, the blade is projecting bloodlust." And then he sheathed me, no need to wipe out blood. Hey I am a sentient sword, being able to fight off rust and the like are the basics.

Also, didn't he make the whole situation look much more serious than it actually was? Now I'm going to be looked at like a cursed item for who knows how long!

He didn't take long to ask me about it mentally, and I ambiguously answered "That was the part of me that is more you. You are still young, so your spirit is still forming, and that is why you don't interact with it that much."

He was a little horrified after reaching conclusion that what he heard during the battle was a manifestation of his own personality. To be honest, it is not very credible – he is the epitome of kind and courteous. But then there is also that ninja saying to look beneath the obvious. So just making up a bullshit explanation that there is a dark part of him that is like that and now that we are at it, I said something like while he doesn't acknowledge the darker parts of himself, he wouldn't be able to find true strength.

It's not everyday that a talking sword tells you you're a potential slasher and you don't know it.

He took me seriously and just that night, during his allotted sleeping time, he instead opted for meditating.

I also noticed the wary look Kagami gave me, but what could I do? His student (that was quite strong, stronger than his other two by a large margin) just admitted that his sword was demanding blood (which admittedly I did, but not with that connotation). So he probably he was worried I started demanding blood when the only people close were his team.

Not that I could blame it on the man, it was a normal conclusion.

* * *

Of course it wouldn't be that the only encounter we would have with hostiles, and the second time was objectively more dangerous.

The reason, a group of foreign shinobi about to assault the base we were going to send the message.

Until that point I had not thought twice about the mission objective, but now with these new events unfolding, it was no wonder why they didn't use the standard hawk. It would have been intercepted on a heartbeat.

Now then, it was time to get serious.


	4. Chapter 4

**Not mine, and I make no money.**

 **A/N: I can't keep myself on track and some serious things keep making their ways into this story.**

 **Also, if you have an idea of any development that could happen down the road, be free to say it. After all, two lunatics come up with more insane ideas than a lone one.**

 **Enjoy, I guess?**

* * *

You know, there is something called too much, of anything. Too much chores, like babysitting or plucking off weeds from a garden, too many Clan Head meetings, or too many times to catch Tora the Infernal Cat.

But there was an enemy ninja who took the cake with the sheer amount of traps piled one over each other, to the point of disabling one sets off another thirty seven. Which in turn sets off another thirty seven each.

 _"Whoa man, someone tried really hard to turn us all to pincushions."_

Sakumo didn't have much time to react to my comments because on top of trying to evade a few thousand sharp objects flying on his general direction he had to avoid or quickly dispel genjutsus that were being thrown off like candy. He was starting to get really nervous and sweaty, and ew, I don't like my handle being drenched in sweat. I have no problems with blood on the edge, but please, not the handle.

"I could really use some help here, Rangetsu." He called out loud.

During the time he became my wielder, he also came to the conclusion I had two different spirits – the more primordial one, like the amalgamation of Avatars, and the one with the name, who was more of a reflection of himself. Not completely by his own did he reach that, I may have helped spouting bullshit here and there, but at this point half of his clans traditions have their foundations on my bullshit.

So when I speak with the multi-layered voice and with more over the top vocabulary he always has this feel of respect, when talking with "Rangetsu" he is always something between exasperated and annoyed, with a hint of amusement.

Oh, right. I should answer him.

 _"Mhm… I suppose I shall grant my grandiose aid to you. Prepare for shunshin."_ It was a really basic technique that required almost no moulding, at least comparatively with more advanced ninjutsu, but still required handseals and Sakumo right now didn't have the luxury of starting that on top of all the other things he had to be aware of. Also, the technique isn't that chakra-efficient, and with the still not so large reserves he had, it would potentially leave him vulnerable if there are more enemies that we first thought.

In comparison, I could cast the technique a few hundred thousand times and still have enough chakra to cast another few hundred thousand times more. And I didn't require hands (because I don't have any). Don't ask me how it works, I don't know.

It was still a little wobbly, because we didn't practice all that much with it, but we had something of a teamwork already set, so it wasn't _that_ bad. It was just a little crappy and badly executed.

Meanwhile for the dozen or so enemy shinobi, all they could see was a flash of a brat constantly on superhigh speed swinging around _something_ white and crackly, and immediately one of them would fall to wounds.

" _I wonder if I could pour enough electricity to make one to fall into cardiac arrest"_ I thought mentally out loud. Sounds weird, I know. _"Hey, try to hit the next one with the flat of the blade. You may be interested on capturing some of them alive."_ Because the situation had turned 180 degrees for them and not only Sakumo but also Kagami was killing the assaulters on the first moment of opportunity.

It worked, somewhat, but also turned the victim to a smoking beef – too much lightning. I had to cut off my own supply onto the blade and use instead Sakumo's as to not pour too much.

It wasn't as he could incapacitate a 20+ year old enemy ninja by himself with only taijutsu.

This time it worked perfectly. Sakumo left the interrogation part to Kagami, while he and his teammates were left to clean cuts and pluck out some sharp objects embedded on their bodies. At least all of them survived, which kind of took me by surprise. I honestly thought the two tagalongs would drop dead within a minute since the fight started.

"That was amazing, Sakumo-san." Said one of the brats while trying to catch his breath and visibly shaking.

The other one nodded with her head in agreement, but looked much too tired to make a verbal statement.

Sakumo just grunted as he was struggling with a senbon stuck on his shoulder.

 _"Relax, pal. At least it wasn't on your knee. Look at the bright side, you can keep adventuring!"_ If I could snicker, I would have.

The young Hatake was just confused.

The mission was completed, somewhat. The outpost had been taken by surprise so the message was by all intents useless now, but at least Team Ten somehow managed to fight off the most likely culprits. Or at least, the ones who were left in the area.

So the next order given by the Jonin-sensei was to return to the closest checkpoint or to the village ASAP.

An even shorter version could be summed up as "Run, run for your lives!"

The group had run into another group of hostile shinobi afterwards. The other two didn't make it.

It seems that I tend to predict the outcome of things, think I am wrong and then being correct after all. I didn't know how to feel about it.

* * *

"So that's all that's happened." Kagami finished debriefing the Hokage about how the mission had turned out. The young Hokage looked at the two figures in front of him. One, a good old friend and longtime comrade, and the other, a kid who had way too much responsibility on his shoulders. The prisoner who had been captured died during the skirmishes on their way to the village, and before that Kagami hadn't been able to get much information off him.

So they had no idea from which village the assailants had come from, but from the general position it could have been either Kumo or Iwa equally, but also it would have been too obvious so other villages were still under suspicions, but with no proof, nothing could be done about it.

At least none of the outposts that had been raided had anything that was considered vital information.

The Hokage sighed, and turned to dismiss them.

* * *

After that, Team Ten was disbanded and Sakumo formed part temporarily in different genin teams until he was promoted shortly after. We did have a few encounters with enemies along that time, and many disengaged when they took notice that they were being bested by a kid.

There was already some talk of him circulating and he was starting to get a moniker – though it wasn't completely solid, it was White-something, like many before him, but people didn't made their minds yet so he was sometimes the White Flash and sometimes the White Fang, with a few variations here and there.

He also took the death of his teammates more strongly than what I had expected, but a conversation in where I reminded him about how there _would_ be sacrifices along the way, and he seemed to get better after a while. Now, to an outsider, it didn't seem that he had changed much at all, but I had a mostly free access to his thoughts.

I don't like to deal with depressive brats. Yea, this world is pretty crappy, but c'mon. No need to make it even crappier for the rest of the living ones. There are already more than enough people doing just that.

Either way, he was already making a name for himself, and the next World War was becoming ever closer.

But the worst thing that happened was that Sakumo was considered ready for summoning contracts. Hatake summoning contract.

 _Dogs._

Ugh.

* * *

 _"I swear, if that thing comes even a meter closer with its slimy snout, I'm gonna stab it"_ I snapped at the large bulldog puppy (with my size, pretty much any dog was large in comparison) that, I could see it in the beast's eyes, was looking at me like if I were a toy to be munched on.

You know what is worse than sweat on the handle? Saliva. Dog saliva is my weakness.

Well, actually not. If you try to use dog spit to take me out, I would just release enough lightning to transform you into a charred unrecognizable body. No need to fight fair with people resorting to harassment.

Sakumo just sighed while he tried to keep the abomination out of my reach. The problem was that he, during his summoning contract, thought it would be cool to have more than one ninken.

So I ended up having to be washed either way. I didn't talk to him for the next month and every time he held my handle I shot a bolt of electricity strong enough to be painful for a prolonged time.

Oh yea, I discovered that I could in fact harm him, though that left why he wasn't injured in that incident a total mystery.

* * *

After a while of not going out of the village and instead staying doing mostly paperwork, I snapped at Sakumo.

 _"Hey! Let's stab someone! Pleeeease. Pretty please? I know you like stabbing people. I mean, I'm a part of you, ain't I?"_ Seeing as he chose to ignore me (after frowning) I hummed annoyingly for a few seconds before continuing. _"C'mooon, it'll be fiiiiiine. Just take a mission and stab the first person who shows the slightest signs of hostility."_ At that he started pinching the bridge of his nose. _"I know you are getting restless too! And you wouldn't even need to kill them, it's just a little stab…"_

"Rangetsu, please shut up."

 _"I refuse! If I had a head I would have been banging it against the wall out of boredom since a week ago! I refuse to be a decoration any longer!"_

"Please, I have to finish these for an upcoming clan meeting and I don't think I have time for that-"

 _"I couldn't care less! If you are going to be like that, then produce an heir already and toss me on them. I know you don't like me anymore"_ I finished dramatically.

"Rangetsu, I haven't even entered puberty yet. You are asking for the impossible."

 _"Excuses! Even if that were to be the case, you could have taken a little time off to train or something!"_

"You didn't even let me unsheathe you without being electrocuted."

 _"Hmpf. You should know that I stopped that act since yesterday."_

He looked at me with one of the most exquisite deadpan ever seen. He sighed before nodding, likely letting my comment pass.

 _"If you keep sighing like that, you will become an old man in no time."_

I swear I could see the tick mark forming on his forehead. Heheheh, this was going to be fun.

* * *

In the end, the poor training ground we used looked like the Rhine Front at the middle of 1918 (without all the artillery shells), courtesy of overpowered swings and extreme releases of lightning chakra. Needless to say, we were discovered during our destructive warm up and then politely asked to use another training ground from then onwards. The name? Training Ground Forty-Four. Already known as the Forest of Death.

I didn't know that this was already online; I thought that it was a few decades until some madman thought it was a good idea. Whoever he or she was, they have my thanks.

Admittedly, stabbing, slashing and frying the strange and dangerous wildlife apparently restricted to this training ground wasn't as satisfying as stabbing humans, but instead was different and still served that purpose.

Honestly, I had enough with a few lifetimes of being a decoration, I was not looking forward to become one again. Even if no more wars were to be fought (which I highly doubted, given how humans were after my long years of being a spectator), at least they could either use me in martial arts championships or directly destroy me.

Right, so, after I talked to Sakumo about it, he was surprised I would prefer to be destroyed rather than being kept like a relic or something. To which I answered I was a weapon – I wasn't made for much more than for killing and harming things.

Also, thinking about it more thoroughly, wasn't the whole having Sakumo going to the Forest of Death a way of someone trying to get rid of him? I may be reading too much into it though. Even if that were to be the case, it didn't go that way so meh.

And our training was somehow catalogued as a rampage by some people, for some reason – but for the majority, it only looked like potential being wasted on a simple chunin. Did I mention that we didn't only totally wreck that one training ground, but reduced the wildlife of the forest of death quite significantly? Also, there's a new water course.

He was promoted to jounin before he was ten.

* * *

For once I didn't turn off the conversation while going to a Clan Head Meeting (tm), and while it was mostly boring old people (and a few young ones – without even counting Sakumo) talking about boring topics – I wasn't that concentrated on what was being said, but inspecting clan heads.

There were way more clans than what I could remember, either because they were cut from the series or because they went extinct during either of the coming World Wars.

Of course, there were the typical ones – The ones with the crazy magic bullshit eyes, the Uchiha; the ones with the 'I see everything' magic eyes, the Hyuga; The good at everything, the Senju – which I don't know the name of the clan head (everyone treated each other as [Clan Name]-sama ) but I guess he was Hashirama's son, and if it were to be the case, he was heavily disappointing compared to someone that was called the _God of Shinobi_ , but I guess that would be normal. Proceeding, there were also the dog-people, the mindraping people, the lazy people, the eating people, the bug people, the monkey people, the shady people (Shimura). But there were some minor clans that I had absolutely no knowledge of and probably was because they, like the Hatake, had a very rough time in during the war. For example, the ones specializing in genjutsu, or the ones with white hair and pink eyes, the ones that seemed to be fairly unremarkable, the ones who had burning red hair that somehow weren't related to the Uzumaki, and other even minor clans and ninja families.

I was busy trying to determine if there was any kinship between White-hair-pink-eyes-kun and Jiraiya – at least the hair shade was identical – when I noted that most of the older clan heads looked at Sakumo with disdain and most of the time they didn't even considered what he was saying. Not that they interrupted him when he talked, but I could see on their faces their unmasked "you don't know anything, kid" expressions of superiority. So I decided to listen into what they were talking about, and to my surprise the one saying the most sensate things was actually Sakumo and not the old men. And I can talk (somewhat) about these things! Even if I don't count the 90% of the meetings I ignored in the past, I still was present in more political things than any of these snobby old bags of bones.

After a 'short' while (in political meetings standards) I was fed up with it, both the meeting in on itself and how the men were treating Sakumo, so I thought of a fun way to spice things up.

 _"Young one,"_ I used my multi-layered voice, as to make it seem the 'Spirits of the Sword' was talking with him.

"Yes, Seiken-sama?" It was still hilarious to watch how he changed when he talked to me or 'me'.

 _"Calm your heart. I'm going to try something, so let your mind loose."_

I had actually very little clue what was I trying to do, but after a few tries I was able to momentarily move a part of my conscience to Sakumo's body.

For some reason, the heated discussion suddenly stopped, and everyone had turned their heads towards where Sakumo was seated. It may be the appearance of a new chakra signature, or it might be that somehow me controlling his body made his eyes glow like a freaking flashlight, I couldn't be sure.

I wasn't confident that I could replicate the effect of multi-layered voice with the boy's body, so instead I used my own, if that made any sense.

 ** _"Greetings, gentlemen."_** I stated, moving Sakumo's glowing eyes from one Clan Head to another – trying my best to make eye contact with each one of them. I also was trying my best not to cackle. **_"You know, it is very rude to ignore in such a way the wishes and opinions of a clan that is part of this village."_**

"Indeed? And who would be you? Because you obviously aren't the Hatake 'Clan Head'" said a particular shady person – the last part was without a doubt said mockingly.

I looked around and saw that everyone present had a slightly disturbed look – most likely because not everyday a brat turns his eyes to headlights and starts talking with multiple voices without moving his mouth. But none of them made any motion towards a weapon or gave any chakra signature like they were preparing a technique – the only one that could be excused I suppose was the Uchiha Head, because he only needed to feed chakra to his magic eyes of doom for battle.

As for the rest, feeling confident, aren't we?

 ** _"Hmmm… how to describe it. I am the manifestation of the amalgamation of every previous Hatake Clan Head that ever was. So I am talking from experience – do not ignore this child's words and brush them because his age – he IS wiser than many of you already. The clan didn't let him become the leader just because he was the son of the previous one. They aren't stupid."_**

The more I talked, the more disturbed their expressions became. Maybe if I were to dedicate more time on politics I could find fun on it… but nah. Nothing beats annoying the wielders and stabbing living things. Not that I couldn't do that on politics. Hmmm.

I decided to drop the thing a short time after, after cleverly and politely insulting the leader of the Shimura Clan a few times. After that, I was asked by Sakumo if it was really the best course of action to antagonize another clan, to what I answered with something like _"If left unchecked, that man would not only drive his own clan to extinction, but also could pose a threat to the integrity of the village and possibly the whole world."_ Okay, the first part I was not sure, but the rest was pretty accurate – most of the bad things that happened in this world after the First Shinobi World War he had something to do with. Heck, he was the very reason Akatsuki took that extremist turn, also the weakening the village (by wiping out an overpowered clan) that would somehow strengthen it, or many other dark dealings he most likely had. He was like the Pontiff of the Elemental Nations.

Well, all of the things he did and most likely will do will come to bite him in the ass, early or late. Might as well start early – I do not like the man.

* * *

 **A/N: When I wrote Pontiff, I referenced a very specific character from a very specific fictional universe. If you aren't convinced, look up the Boreal Valley on google.**


	5. Chapter 5

**Nothing. I do not own a thing, and I do not make profit.**

 **Enjoy?**

* * *

It was silent. I was supposed to be silent, really, because it was in the dead of the night and the whole thing was a subterfuge mission. It didn't change that the pace was really sluggish for the past few days of being sneaky, and I _had_ to make unasked comments every now and again to keep myself from losing my conscious to memories.

 _"I can't see where we are supposed to be going!"_ I exclaimed out of the blue while Sakumo was crawling around the mud like if he were a worm. A worm with silver hair. A worm with hair. Ah, off the tangent. _"I'm afraid of the dark!"_

'Shut it. And it isn't as you really need light to see, you don't even have eyes. Plus, don't you have the biggest sensing radius I know of?'

Well, he wasn't completely wrong. But to be honest, I kind of didn't have a clue what was I really doing with the whole chakra thing – even if I had listened to more beginners explanations than what I really cared for counting, it generally starts as: there's this strange energy on your body. Now, make these strange things with your hands and try to focus inwards (whatever that could mean). So, the main problem is that from what I can gather handseals by themselves mould chakra without needing the user to be really _aware_ of it – and that was it. I don't have hands.

It's not as if I couldn't do anything, but it made things more difficult. Sure, I could make a few beginner techniques like e-rank ninjustu needed to pass the exam (though even if I made a transformation technique to resemble a human, I still couldn't move by myself, go figure.) but it was after plenty of time had passed with me getting familiar with Sakumo's chakra and feeling how it changed when he casted a technique, and then I try to mimic that.

Also, the Hatake Clan previously didn't really adhere to the whole ninjustu and genjutsu shenanigans – before joining the village. For generations. Sure, they could do basic stuff, but they mostly kept to being sneaky and killing things that way. Or ambush combat. You get the deal, not the most flashy ninja clan out there – the flashiest thing they had was either me or the dog summoning, I can't decide which is stranger.

That may or may not be a huge part on me don't really understanding what was I doing with chakra, so I tried to flail it around like if it were my arm (that I don't have) and hoping for the best. Which resulted in more explosions than I was willing to admit.

Where was I? Oh, yes. Well, it happens (the whole chakra thing) mostly the same with sensor abilities. The most basic comparison I could give is: you can see right? But most people don't know how. Sensing is the same, it isn't perfect. Surely there is more than one sneaky ninja out there who is better at masking their presence than me sensing them.

'… You've gone awfully quiet'

 _"Eh, just thinking things. On that matter, I don't think I'm the best option of weapon for this particular mission."_

He visibly furrowed his brows. Quite the dramatic, I could barely see with the modicum amount of light on the environment. Or was it that I sensed it? I was confused.

'Why would you say so?'

 _"Well, hello, you have on one side you have a stealth mission and on the other a sword that when you swing it emits an awfully bright light and makes noise. Pick one, not both."_

'… I can swing a sword around without infusing chakra into it.'

 _"It's an unconscious thing at this point, and even samurai and freaking bandits do it. Heck, even civilian old ladies do it when cutting vegetables. Just use a kunai or something for now."_

He didn't make any motion of agreement but seemed to accept either way.

In the end, not much of interest happened. Mission complete, no incidents.

Months and years passed in such a manner – with the brat growing and me getting some clues of how to do some things, but that was a work in progress.

Sakumo became more and more notorious, his nickname had stabilized into the White Fang, and was recognized as one of the village's strongest, to the point some would say he was in a league very few were part of. Like the Hokage's prized students.

Those also grew to be quite the monstrous brats. They also were the people Sakumo got along more often, particularly Jiraiya.

However, as time passed by, more and more tension could be literally felt in the people. More and more 'border incidents' started to happen (there were some already, but the thing is that they've become more bold), like patrols vanishing and found gutted somewhere nearby a few days later, or an entire minor checkpoint being slowly poisoned, to outright assaults on some major bases, only to be repelled because the strength behind the attack force wasn't all that big. Also, don't forget villages getting burned down overnight. Those are certainly important for the governing few, definitely. I'm completely not sarcastic here.

Hat&SmokingPipe (what I call the Hokage, because he neither takes off the hat nor stops smoking ever since things started escalating) was finally fed up with 'who snaps first contest' that was between the Kages and finally declared open war on Iwa – the main pain in the ass – but it resulted in a domino effect that ended up as a complete clusterfuck, with supposed allies turning on each other and allying with their supposed enemies only to repeat.

Well, that last happened mostly between the other great villages, Konoha was only 'betrayed' (more like they said, we don't take kindly to stupid fucks starting this mess, and then said goodbye) by Kiri – or you prefer you can call it the Italy of this world, in a sense.

In a nutshell, the war was: ooh, carnage here, brutal slaughter there, a pin-pong of death between two or more hidden villages over some 'strategically important point' that was rendered obsolete as the war progressed, poisoning of minor rivers that led to an extreme number of 'collateral casualties', rampant ninja sicknesses (imagine how strong a sickness has to be to survive on a shinobi's body), more Declarations of Vengeancetm than I could confidently count, and death. Much, much death. In the lines of, by the last years of the war, the population not only of the Hidden Villages but the whole Elemental nations had been reduced by about 30% (I didn't make that calculation, whoever they were, they were rather close to Blonde Mountain-Crusher, because that's where I overheard it from).

Not everything was grim and dark, however. Sure, someone you knew died almost daily, or came back badly injured (that was cured almost easily and disturbingly fast), but it was death that reminded people of what makes them alive. Or some bullcrap like that would be spouted for newly made couples. Including Sakumo and some lady that I didn't have a clue who she was, but if I were to speculate, she was going to be Broken Man's mother. Maybe.

Some curious part of me wondered what kind of person she was, but after seeing her a few times nothing exceptional came up (and she didn't really felt strong – her presence was just like any civilian passing through) so I didn't really bother to interact with her. Her 'feel' was justified, because she _was_ a civilian… seeing as the rather poor state of population for not only the Hatake Clan, but many smaller ones (and some important and rather large ones too – looking at the Senju). But our silver-haired dog freaks were reduced to Sakumo and an old couple that had retired before the war even started.

The others? Chunin? Dead on the battlefield. Jounin? Dead mostly on ambushes. The few kids that had remained grew up during the time the war was going on, and all of them decided to join up the ranks. Dead before they completed their first mission outside.

I wondered how did Sakumo cope with all that. It was not the first time that a thought appeared on my mind, but I never I did ask him about it. Better to ask the roundabout way, I guess? Better to be safe than sorry.

 _'…Have you heard of reincarnation?'_

He was taken out of his thoughts – that I had turned out because they were only about a particular brunette (and I didn't particularly care about it) – and frowned looking forward, before he turned his head over his right shoulder (still frowning) and just then answered.

'Yes?... the whole concept is that someone who dies is reborn again. Not that I am particularly believe in that, though. Why?' The calmness on his voice could have been faked (ninja) but not on his mind. Hmm, so he isn't a 'live-memory' reincarnation at least. He could be someone who did reincarnate, but without the memories. Or he is just a freak of nature.

Better if I don't start thinking too deep on the subject – the last thing I want is an existential crisis. I ended up just making up something about how his comrades would end reincarnating and live the happy lives they were denied on this one, you know, the cliché.

He was slightly highly confused – because he _had_ been daydreaming about his girlfriend and nothing else passed his head, to which I bullshitted my way through with another thing about how he was just trying to distract himself about it but deep inside he was being tormented (probably Survivor's Guilt, if that were to be the case). He took a deep breath, slowly, before closing his eyes and nodding.

He proceeded to inquiry about the previous Clan Heads – probably about the whole Valhalla thing.

 _'They will move on when they are ready, individually'_ That seemed to tranquillize him, about what I had some idea but nothing concrete.

 _'But enough of that. Heads up, we have company approaching the base from the southwest. Not friendlies. You should have sensed them since ten minutes ago, you are slacking off'_

He automatically took action to warn the base commander, and at the same time he passed a mental image to me of something between annoyance, mortification and a big 'feck you'. The Commander took Sakumo's warning seriously – it wasn't the first time the White Fang sensed an enemy squad or platoon before any sentries detected anything strange.

Manual labour (genin) were evacuated to a bunker, because they would not be of any use in combat and it was preferable that they survive. Jonin made squad leaders of other three chunin, a total of seven squads were ready for combat before the enemy was five kilometres away.

* * *

"So this is the famous White Fang of Konoha. Hmm. I'm sorry, but I don't see anything special with you." Said Green Fishface, though he probably didn't mean what he said because he was put on edge when he saw the mop of silver hair.

Fishface and another kiri nin reached for the handles peeking from their backs, and drew two of the most bizarre swords this world has to offer. That I'm aware of.

The other kiri nin, let's call him Bandageface, had that giant butcher knife of a sword, that I couldn't remember the name of because it was way too complicated. Fishface had, predictably, Samehada. Interesting was that not only Samehada felt somewhat sentient, but the oversized knife did too, albeit even less.

It was not until we met each other's blades that I more or less understood the other sword's personalities.

Samehada was essentially what you could call a drug addict, but it was addicted to chakra. Also, the amount of energy the thing had was ridiculous, easily topping the lowest biju in sheer amount. It also seemed that consumed a lot to keep itself 'awake' but it's reserves would probably not run out for a few decades.

Oversized was a dumb plank of metal that screamed constantly 'BLOOD! BLOOOOOOD!' … So in a sense it was similar to Samehada, though the cause of addiction wasn't chakra but blood.

 _'They are both retards.'_ I couldn't help but communicate with Sakumo. Just then I had thought I had found someone who could sympathise with my ridiculous circumstance, but those dreams of heartfelt conversations between swords were shattered because I only encountered junkies that cared for only one thing each.

A few swooshes, shunshin, a few lightning techniques from our part, and many water techniques and wild swinging of massive blades later, Sakumo had killed or at least badly injured both Mist Swordsmen, but he was forced to retreat to the base when more than ten jounin-level enemies came up to him, most likely to retrieve the swords and bodies. Most likely the bodies.

Plus, all backup had been routed by that point, so we had to make way through parts with least opposition.

* * *

After that, things were mostly the same. That battle more or less repeated constantly – being attacked from all sides tended to make one vulnerable without numerical superiority. Something that we had, compared to the other villages _individually_ , but most certainly didn't when fighting all other four big villages at the same time.

A few times in bases close to Water Country. A few times in the banks of the wide rivers in Grass Country (a somewhat vassal to the Fire Country, their Daimyos were cousins). A few times in the land of Hot Water. A few times in the Land of Rain (that certainly didn't end well, Hanzo almost wiped out the entire forces of any outsider village), then passed to the Land of Rivers – sometimes pushing towards Wind Country itself.

I was deeply aware of who were the couple of one read head man and a brunette woman puppet users that met their end when Sakumo was tasked to cover the retreat after an offensive gone sour.

Well, to be honest, I only recognized the man because his hair colour. The point is, that old hag from Suna would be probably a pain in the ass to interact with after this. Which most likely will happen.

* * *

The war had ended at last.

A few things had happened – a few clans had gone extinct, a good amount of the population was out in the field being fertilizer, I had to be re-sharpened because of overuse and I couldn't keep myself sharp enough because of it, the old couple that had remained of the Hatake Clan had passed away of old age, Sakumo moved in with his girlfriend turned fiancée turned wife, yada yada, all sort of things.

Now things would start to complicate even more, and I had to make a decision.


End file.
